The 'Art' of the Perfect Cheese Plate

What would life Brie without cheese? Honestly? Gouda question. Would Kraft and their infamous blue box cease to exist? Would book clubs all over the world only serve wine and... wine? And finally, if it wasn't for everyone's favorite food group, what else would Jay-Z be spendin' while out big pimpin'? Not cheese! That's for sure.

So we've established the importance of our good friend 'cheese' and how it's made it's impact on not only today's culture (hello rap music!) but also our everyday life. Cheese, cheese plates, cheese boards and spending good cheddar (yes!) on perfecting and serving a well-rounded cheese platter is an actual dilemma reserved for not only for the book club kids.

But don't fret my little Manchegos! In my dedicated years of research (eating cheese) and calling my Mom (hi Nance!) apparently this is the selection you need in seeking the pursuit of cheese plate perfection:

1. A Hard (Cheddar or Manchego)
2. A Semi-firm (Edam or Gouda)
3. A Soft (Brie or Camembert)
4. A Blue (Blue... or Bleu?)
5. A 'Kinda Weird' (Goat cheese, Yak cheese or cheese churned from the tears of an ex-lover)

To make this arduous task even easier (you can thank me later), 3 Girls and a Kiln just happen to sell cheese stakes that pair with your perfect plate! Sets of 'Cheddar, Gouda, Brie, Blue and Goat' stakes are all available on our Etsy site and each ceramic stake perfectly pokes into the corresponding cheese thusly, cutting out the 'what is that speckly one in the corner' question - reserving more time for you to sip on that well deserved glass of wine.

* Note - I went with 'Goat' instead of 'Tears of an exlover' for the 'Kinda Weird' category mainly because shortening it to 'ex-lover' for fit purposes just got strange. We're trying to start conversation with that category, not instigate a trip to your neighborhood jail by way of secret calls to 911....

But before you slink away into cheese snack heaven (however, I do highly recommend pouring a glass of wine), read on for a clay 'how-to' if you feel like attempting to make cheese stakes all by yourself. I know I know... you really want that 'ex-lover' stake now don't you.... ;)

How to Make Cheese Stakes

Materials

    •    Clay (needs to be fired in a kiln so the stakes are vitrified and food-safe)
    •    Rolling Pin
    •    Metal ruler (or any thin straight edge)
    •    Needle Tool
    •    Letter Stamp and fun pattern stamps
    •    5 Squeezy Bottles (or a paint brush)
    •    One squeezy bottle in black for letters
    •    Mayco Clear One Brushing Clear Glaze

Step 1 | Roll out Ball of Clay
If you've baked before - you a) know how to use a rolling pin and b) know how to roll dough out to be pretty flat. If you don't know - then this is not the tutorial for you. But! If you do know! Then roll out your clay to be about 1/4". There's not really a set like... sized circle you are aiming for at this point? More or less, whatever organic sized circle pancake that you get from rolling out about a fist sized ball of clay

Step 2 | Cut Strips using metal ruler
If you know me (if not... I'm Claire. Hi.), you'll know that I love metal rulers. I usually have about 3 in arms reach both at home and at the studio. If I can't find my precious metal rulers, there is mass upset! But I digress... in this case, metal rulers are are awesome because they are straight, sharp and long. Perfect for cutting long strips. Each stake will end up being about 1/2" wide - so for this step, cut your strips about 3/4" so you've got room to trim. Keep cutting them until you've got no clay pancake left, and instead a whole heap of strips. Now - cut these strips into a variety of lengths (again, using the ruler) that range of about 3" long to about 5" long. So you'll have about 20+ strips of clay when you are done. You can always use the needle tool to clean up edges in case you don't get alllll the way through using the ruler.

Step 3 | Stamp pattern and letters
Now is time to stamp your strip (ha). First, at one end of your strip, stamp your pattern using your pattern stamp. Next stamp the word using your word stamp in the middle of the strip and finally, stamp the bottom of your strip with pattern. It's going to be quite squashed looking and not uniform at this point. SO! Get that metal ruler and even it up. No need to be a perfectionist here, just use the side of your ruler to trim the long sides of your strip so the word is in the middle (like in the picture). Then. take the ruler and cut a perpendicular line to make the sharp edge of the stake. (see next picture). These can be as angled or as sharp as you'd like.

At this stage, your cheese stakes are done and
ready for firing in the kiln! Well- let em hangout and dry for about a day, but then they are ready for firing.

Note - if you are making multiple sets, do all of one stake first... that way you don't mix patterns up and/or misspell words. I speak from experience here.

Step 4 | Out of Kiln! Time to glaze letters and color
Now that the stakes are out of the kiln they will be solid and vitrified- perfect for absorbing glaze. Now! This part is key - take your black squeezy and fill in the letters. Doesn't have to be neat! Just make sure they are filled in. When the letters are dry (about 5 minutes), take a wet sponge and wipe the sponge over the letters. All the 'outside the lines' black will instantly come off leaving the filled in black letters. Neat huh? Next - Use a paintbrush or squeezy to fill in the top color. You can do a similar technique and wipe off the excess color, or leave the color on for full blocks of glaze (I did the latter option here! But - will be getting creative on my next batch with wiping off the excess).

Step 5 | Clear Glaze
The final step! Using a paint brush, pop 2 coats of clear over your stakes thusly, they will be able to clean easily after you've used them at your most recent dinner party! Get ready to fire again to around 1850 degrees (if doing a low fire kiln)... and get ready for the big kiln reveal!!!)

Step 6 | Kiln Reveal!

There is no better feeling (well... almost) than opening up a kiln and seeing your shiny baby cheese stakes peeping out! 

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Hopefully, maybe you are inspired now to get making your own cheese stakes - or if nothing else, add a bit more 'cheese' to your life? Believe me - I'm not here to judge - I'm far more of a 'Grin and Camembert it' type of gal ;)

- Claire

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